the saga of whizzer mcgee
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The Saga of Whizzer McGee Full Episode – Bonanza, Season #04, Episode #30

George Brenlin portrays Whizzer McGee, an aggressive individual of short stature who fiercely defends himself against those who mock his size. Consequently, Whizzer finds himself repeatedly losing jobs, often due to engaging in physical altercations that render his employers unconscious. When Whizzer befriends Hoss Cartwright, it initially seems like his luck might change for the better, but instead, new troubles arise. Other actors featured in the cast are Jeanne Bal portraying Melissa, Med Flory as Otis, Burt Mustin playing Washburn, Hal Baylor as Big Red, Mike Ragan as Mike, and Bern Hoffman as the Bartender. Written by Robert Lyon Welch, The Saga of Whizzer McGee originally aired on April 28, 1963.

Explore the plot and intriguing trivia, or watch the entire episode below.

Table of Contents

Watch the Full Episode of The Saga of Whizzer McGee

Watch the Full Episode of The Saga of Whizzer McGee:

Main Cast

Besides the main cast, “The Saga of Whizzer McGee,” the thirtieth episode of Bonanza Season 4 highlights various recurring and guest-supporting actors. The following are featured in the episode:

  • Lorne Greene as Ben Cartwright
  • Pernell Roberts as Adam Cartwright (credit only)
  • Dan Blocker as Eric ‘Hoss’ Cartwright
  • Michael Landon as Joseph ‘Little Joe’ Cartwright (credit only)
  • George Brenlin as Whizzer McGee
  • Jeanne Bal as Melissa
  • Med Flory as Otis Klink
  • Hal Baylor as Big Red
  • Victor Sen Yung as Hop Sing
  • Bern Hoffman as Bartender
  • Burt Mustin as Mashburn (as Bert Mustin)
  • Mike Ragan as Mike
  • Leon Alton as Townsman (uncredited)
  • Al Bain as Townsman (uncredited)
  • John Barton as Townsman (uncredited)
  • John Bose as Townsman (uncredited)
  • John Breen as Townsman (uncredited)
  • Bill Clark as Bill (uncredited)
  • George DeNormand as Townsman (uncredited)
  • Herschel Graham as Townsman (uncredited)
  • Herman Hack as Townsman (uncredited)
  • Sam Harris as Frontier House Owner (uncredited)
  • Michael Jeffers as Townsman (uncredited)
  • Ethan Laidlaw as Townsman (uncredited)
  • Bob LaWandt as Townsman (uncredited)
  • William Meader as Townsman (uncredited)
  • John Rice as Townsman (uncredited)
  • Danny Sands as Townsman (uncredited)
  • Cosmo Sardo as Townsman (uncredited)
  • Bert Stevens as Postmaster (uncredited)
  • Sailor Vincent as Townsman (uncredited)

Full Story Line for The Saga of Whizzer McGee

Hoss encounters Whizzer McGee, a man whose short stature makes him quick to anger when mocked. Hoss offers him support and boosts his confidence, ultimately assisting him in finding employment.

Despite Hoss’s guidance, Whizzer becomes infatuated with Melissa, a stunning yet manipulative saloon woman who prioritizes wealth in a partner. Desperate to impress her, Whizzer agrees to a substantial loan from a dubious individual seeking to exploit Whizzer’s proximity to the bank.

Events take a tragic turn when Whizzer seizes an opportunity to steal money from bank robbers, a decision that ends in disaster despite Hoss’s attempts to intervene and aid his troubled friend.

Full Script and Dialogue of The Saga of Whizzer McGee



Get your dirty hands
off my garment.


Boy, I'll have a pony
of Grand Marnier.

I thought maybe you was
standing on your knees.

We don't serve no kids in here,

and besides, I never heard of
whatever it was you ordered.


I was only joking, sonny.

Well, I don't think it's funny,
and don't call me "sonny,"

you big ox.

Now, come on, when I
say draw, I mean draw.

What's your beef, runt?

This, this employee of yours...

He picked the wrong
guy to poke fun at.

I don't take belittling
remarks from nobody.

You ain't even packing a gun.

Aw... I mean, draw a card.

Yeah, low man buys
drinks for the house, huh?

Oh, no, you don't.

Look, you want a
drink, you pay for it

and then clear out of here.

What's the matter,
you afraid to draw?

Cut 'em.

Drink up, folks,
it's on the house!

Hey, you're a cheat.

I don't know how you done it,

you miserable little
runt of a cheater.

I'll take you into court
for that libelous remark.

You'll have to pick yourself
up out of the gutter first.

Maybe that'll keep you from
palming them cards for a while.

In case you're a lefty,
that'll insure the deal.

All right, now, you
fellers have had your fun.

Now leave the little man alone.

I caught him cheating at cards.

You did no such of a thing.

I beat you fair and square,
and you, you're a sore loser.

I said leave him alone.

He's a stinking card shark.

I don't care what he is.

You fellas have hurt him enough,

and if anybody wants to argue
about it, you got to talk to me.

Just stay out of
my saloon, runt.

Let me go, I'll pulverize him!

You ain't gonna
pulverize anybody.

Let me go, let me...
What are you doing?

Put me down.

Now, come on, put me down.

What are you doing?

Come on, put... Ow.

As for you, you know
what I'm going to do?

I'm gonna come back and I'm
going to cut you down to size.

Why, you...!

I'll cut you down to
size, that's what I'll do!


Well, this is where I turn to
the right for the Ponderosa.

That trail right out there leads

into the main road
to Carson City.


Still think you ought to
take me up on that offer

and ride on out to
the Ponderosa with me

and soak them hands in
some hot water and liniment.

Sure would take a
lot of the soreness out.

Look, I don't take no
favors from nobody.

Just... just toss me
my suitcase, huh?

If there's one
thing I can't stand,

it's somebody
feeling sorry for me.

Look, there ain't nobody
feeling sorry for you, little buddy.

It's just that, well, I figured
you're gonna need a little help,

you ain't gonna make it.

What are you trying to do?

Be a big hero, huh?

Big man saves
little runt from mob.

Well, I know your kind;
I've dealt with 'em all my life.

And don't call me buddy.

Look, I don't take that kind
of talk from nobody, mister.

Now, come on, I'll go a
couple rounds with you

right here and now if
you want. Come on!

The shape them hands is in,

you'd have a rough
time putting a dent

in a bowl of mashed potatoes.


Don't... laugh at me.

Well, I...

I'm tired... of
being laughed at.

Little buddy, there ain't
nobody laughing at you,

and there ain't nobody
feeling sorry for you, neither.

It's just that...

I understand your
problem, that's all.

But you remember this:

There's two ends to that stick.

I'm on the other end of it.

It's just as bad being too big.

Did you ever think about that?

Who ain't got a problem?

You get back up
here in this buggy.

We're going to the Ponderosa
whether you like it or not.


What're you trying
to do, scald me?

Sit down! That water
is supposed to be hot,

and that's the way
I'm gonna keep it.

- Put your hands in it.
- It's hot enough now,

you could stew a chicken in it.

Huh. Morning, Hoss.

Oh, McGee!

Now, let's have a look at those.


Yeah, they're coming
along pretty good.

Put 'em back in, now.

You know what you ought to do?

You ought to exercise 'em.

Open and close. Open and close.

That way, you get the
muscles back to normal again.

You're a very lucky
young fella, you know that?

You could've had the bones
of both those hands broken.

He'll be lucky if I don't break
his head when I get better.

Oh, come on, now,
that's no way to talk.

- Pa's right, McGee.
- Sure, he's right.

You can say that... nobody
stepped on your hands.

Hoss, there's a
couple business things

I have to discuss with you.

Come in as soon as you can, huh?

Yes, sir, I'll be right in, Pa.

Joe Foster told
me all about him.

Your friend McGee
has been mixed up

in all kinds of
questionable deals.

But, Pa, if we turn
him out now, it's...

it's just like throwing him
right back to the wolves.

Hoss, he's a
bad-tempered little man!

I know that!

But the reason he's a
bad-tempered little man

is because he's got a
chip on his shoulder,

because of his size!

Pa... you remember something?

When I was a young'un,

and all the other kids in school
used to tease me about my size,

and I'd get so dad-gum mad
I'd want to break all their necks,

and you'd tell me,
you'd say, "Son...

you got to learn to
live with what you are."

Do you remember that, Pa?

- Yes, I remember.
- All right.

That's what I've got
to do for this man, Pa.

I've got to teach him that.

Pa, all I'm asking
is that you...

that you help me
get him a decent job

in Virginia City, that's all.

All right, Hoss, I'll...

I'll do what I can.

Thank you, Pa.

St. Francis of the Ponderosa.

♪ I've worked in towns ♪

♪ From east to west ♪

♪ And they said Virginia
City ought to please me best ♪

♪ It's true what they told me ♪

♪ I guess I'll stick around ♪

♪ My urge to roam ♪

♪ Is in the past ♪

♪ I came from San Francisco,
but I'm home at last ♪

♪ Your smile's really sold me ♪

♪ I guess I'll stick around ♪

♪ There is one other part ♪

♪ Of my plan ♪

♪ I want to solve ♪

♪ If I can ♪

♪ I long ♪

♪ For a man ♪

♪ Who'll volunteer ♪

Anyone here?

♪ It won't take much ♪

♪ To fill the bill... ♪

Oh, Hoss, I don't
think it's gonna work.

If they recognize me
they'll throw me out.

Come on here, now,
little buddy, you're with me.

If anybody in there starts
any kind of yappin' that's gonna

cause trouble, I'm gonna
stick that right down their throat.

Uh-uh! Now
you're getting feisty.

No, I ain't.

Look... I'm just
gonna introduce you

to the most important people,
and you're gonna be Mr. McGee,

plain and simple,
you understand that?

Anybody starts
asking any questions,

just don't pay 'em
no mind, you hear?

And remember this... saunter...

don't strut.

And no matter what
anybody says, keep smiling,

keep a smile on your face.

Now, come on,
give me a big smile.

Yeah. Hey, let's go.

That's it, come on.


My friend and I'll have a beer.


Now, that's good, little buddy.

You're doing real good.

Hey, Whizzer,
come here a minute.

Back over here
at this front table,

you see the man in the
black hat with the big cigar?


That's the postmaster,
very important man.

See the old man standing
there talking to him?

He owns the Frontier House,
the second best hotel in town.

Now, they're both
good men to know.

Now, come on over here a minute.

You see this old man
setting back here by himself?

That's old Mashburn.

Now, he's a nice old
man, he's a little deaf,

so when I introduce you to
him, speak right up, you hear?

- What's that you say?
- I said...

Come on.

Mr. Mashburn, this
here is Mr. McGee!

Oh, hello there, Hoss.

Who's the young fellow with you?

I say, this here is Mr. McGee!

Oh, yeah, Mr. McGee.

Hiya there, sonny!

Don't pay him no mind.

He's a nice old man, he's
just a little deaf, that's all.

Howdy, Mr. Mashburn!

What's that you say, son?

Speak up.

I said, "Howdy!"

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Sit... sit down. Come on.

Well, thank you. Thank
you, Mr. Mashburn.

Well, Whizzer, it's
getting sorta late.

I imagine you and me
better be pulling out.

It's been nice chatting
with you, Mr. Mashburn!

I'll see you tomorrow!

Sure... and you can
move into that room

in the back of the
store anytime, sonny...

So, up with the hens,
down with the roosters,

- like the fella says.
- Yeah.

Yeah, well... goodnight,
Mr. Mashburn!


After working for him, I
can get a job hog-callin'.

You gentlemen aren't leaving?

Well, yeah, Miss Melissa,
we thought we'd be pulling out.

You mean, you're not going
to stay for my next number?

I was going to
sing it especially for

you two fine-looking gents.

Well, thank you, Miss Melissa,

but it's gettin' kind of late.

We'd better run.

Hoss... just... just one
little old number, huh?

Ah, that's the way I
like to hear a man talk!


♪ What did you
do to capture me? ♪

♪ I look at you
and I'm all at sea ♪

♪ In my eyes, in my eyes ♪

♪ You're the devil in disguise ♪

♪ To some, I know,
you may not seem ♪

♪ The Romeo of a
maiden's dream ♪

♪ In my eyes, in my eyes ♪

♪ You're the perfect
shape and size ♪

♪ In the game of love
I've played some ♪

♪ It was always hit or miss ♪

♪ I have lost a few
and made some ♪

♪ But none ever
thrilled me like this ♪

♪ Don't back away ♪

♪ And break the spell ♪

♪ Your glances say
what your lips can't tell ♪

♪ Play it smart ♪

♪ Play it wise ♪

♪ Make your heart realize ♪

♪ That this look in my eyes ♪

♪ Is love... ♪

'Morning, Mr. Mashburn.

Five-eighths lug nuts...

five-eighths bolts...

Nuts, bolts, bolts, nuts...

Wait, wait a minute, wait
a minute, wait a minute.

That's no five-eighths.

It's half-inch.

What are you doing?
Checking up on me?

Now don't you
get feisty with me.

How's it goin' so far?

How's it goin'?

Hoss, I saw $1.40's
worth so far today.

Hey, you want to
see my quarters?

Come on. Follow me.

This, this wash basin

was passed down from
the barber of Seville.

It's been patched and
plugged so many times,

it leaks faster
than you can fill it.

You know, I tried to
sell myself a new one,

but I couldn't afford it.

I'll tell you what, Whizzer.

Old Hop Sing's been needing
a new stove for a long time.

Now, if you can ride
out to the Ponderosa

and convince my Pa,
you'll make yourself a sale,

and pick up a nice
little commission on top.

Hey, I might take
you up on that.

I'll see ya out there.

Real handy place to have a bank.

If a fella had any
money to put in it.

Clink, Clink, wait a minute.

What is it, Melissa, I'm busy?

You have to read this.

From that little runt McGee.

The one that works
over at Mashburn's.


"The soft velvet
texture of your skin...

"the deep limpid
pools of your eyes,

"which cast a reflection of
your beauty on my very soul."

Huh. I wonder
where he copied that?

I don't care.

I think he makes
a very good point.

"You are the woman I
have always dreamed

"would enter my life.

"Melissa, will you have
dinner with me tonight?"

You better watch your step.

I just might run away
with that little midget.

So he works for Mashburn?

Big deal.

He probably pulls
in all of $3 a week.

Yeah? Well, you
write him a note.

Tell him you accept
his invitation to dinner.


Wear your most, uh,

beguiling gown. Lead him on.

Lead him on?

Oh, now, wait a minute.

Nobody tells me what to do.

Not even you, sweetie.


Not even if I make
it worth your while?

Well, uh...
- that's different.
- Good.

Gentlemen, I think
I've found a way

to solve our financial problems.

Through Mr. Whizzer McGee.

I've just discovered
a foolproof way

to get into the bank.

Bill, go get a bottle.

I'll tell ya about it.



Can you afford a
bottle of Champagne?

The best in the
house... for you.


well, well, now that I
got you here alone...

there's something I
wanna talk to you about.

I think I've heard this before,

but, um, what's your version?

Mr. McGee, my tastes in
life are rather more than...


The man I choose
must have means.

To be quite blunt,

it would take a lot of money
to tempt me into marriage.

I'll have money,
Melissa, I promise ya.

When? Two years from now?

Maybe five, ten?

I want money while I'm
still young enough to count it.

Well, I-I-I...
expect to inherit...

inherit a large sum of money.

Any day now.


Oh, you, you mean
you have rich relatives?

When I do, I'll, I'll make you

the belle of Virginia City.

I'll buy you all
the latest fashions.

I'll sprinkle gold
dust in your hair.


Mr. McGee, you fascinate me.

But right now I've got to
get ready for my number.

When, uh, when I come back,

we'll, uh, we'll talk some more

about your rich relatives, hmm?

And in cash.

You know...

been meaning to
speak to you. Yes, sir.

I, uh, I've been
meaning to speak to you

about establishing credit
in your little establishment.

You mean you can't pay this?

A temporarily short
of funds this week.

However, by next
week, I'll be able...

Next week, nothin'!

I ought to know better,
you little chiseler.

I ought to squeeze you
two feet shorter than you are.

Hey, what's going on?

This little runt's trying to
stick me with this big check.

Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.

Look, I'm not runnin'
this joint for charity.

Just put Mr. McGee's
bill on my account, Red.


Yeah, he's a friend of mine.
I'm glad to help him out.

I don't understand.

I know how it is to be
"temporarily short of funds".

So just count on me
for any credit you need.


But right now, let's
have a little drink.


Deal me out of this one, boys.

Come in.

- Oh, excuse me...
- Come in, come in, come in.

I'm used to having people
drop in while I'm dressing.

I-I could wait out here.

That's all right.

Have a seat, Mr. Cartwright.

I'll only be a minute.

I want to talk to you
about Mr. McGee.

Oh? What about McGee?

He's a friend of mine, ma'am.

I sorta have a
stake in his future.

Sure would hate to
see him get loused up.

And what is that remark
supposed to mean?

Mr. McGee proposed
marriage, Mr. Cartwright.

Yeah... I was afraid he would.

That's just exactly
the point, ma'am.


I don't think Whizzer's
ready for marriage.

Now, let me tell you something.

If I want to marry Whizzer
McGee, or anybody else,

I'll make up my own
mind. I'm a grown woman.

Yes'm... you sure
are that, all right.

As a matter of fact, I
may seriously consider

Mr. McGee's proposal...

as soon as he comes
into his inheritance.

His inheritance?
What inheritance?

Mr. McGee happens to
have some very rich relatives.

We were discussing
them at dinner.

Ma'am... Whizzer
McGee is an orphan.


He don't even know
who his relatives are.

As a matter of fact, he don't
even know what his real name is.

He just picked McGee
from some Faro dealer

he once knew or something.

Why that dirty,
lying, little squirt.

Well... thank you
for the talk, ma'am.

Men. I'll just never learn.

Good night.

Whizzer, could I talk
to you for a minute?

Sure. Well, Hoss, you
know Clink Otis don't you?

Yeah. Hi.

If you could step outside
with me I'd appreciate it.

Yeah, sure.

Excuse us for a minute.


Look, Whizzer...

I don't wanna seem like
I'm preaching no sermons

to you or nothin', but...

I don't like the
company you're keeping.

W-W-Well, Hoss...

Otis just come in
and sat down with me.

Yeah, I know, I
know. I seen him.

I don't trust him, Whizzer.
He's the kind of feller

that can get you
mixed up in somethin'...

I know.

Oh, no,

I'm not gonna get
mixed up in anything.

Well, it's just...

he might be a
potential customer.

If I'm gonna get
anywhere in this town,

I got to start someplace.

Look, Whizzer, Mr. Otis
ain't the kind of man

that's gonna be buyin'
nothing from Mr. Mashburn.

Now if you want to get
started and started right,

you'll come on and go
out to Ponderosa with me

right now and convince
my Pa to order that stove.

I know.

I know, Hoss.

Okay, let's go, huh?

This particular model of
the Wellington High-Boy,

Mr. Cartwright, has a special
double-reinforced oven,

yes, sir, and a
semi-adjustable flue cleaner.

Why, it's an eight pot burner.

It comes complete with
the Wellington High-Boy

shut-off shuttle plate.

Hoppy can make the best
Irish stew you ever tasted.

Yes, Brook Trout a
la Joseph of the Ritz,

and Diablo of Sacramento
Catfish Supreme!

All right!

I have just bought the
Wellington High-Boy.

Put 'er there, Mr. Cartwright.

You made a wise decision.

Get plenty good cooking now.

We gonna eat like regular
Frenchmen, ain't we, Pa?

You do pretty good on plain
American cooking, Hoss.

Ah, Pa, you know
that's all muscle.


Come in.

Mr. Mashburn!

Oh, mornin', sonny...
I mean McGee.

What can I do for you?

Well, I, I sold a new
Wellington High-Boy

to the Cartwrights last night.

I need some cash.

Could I have an
advance on my salary?

Store policy: No Advances.

Made the policy
myself and I live up to it.

- Right to the letter.
- Yeah, I know, but...

A rule is a rule
and that's that.

Oh, by the way, McGee,

better make some
arrangements to get that stove

out to the Cartwrights.


Who's there?

It's me... McGee.

You sneaking, little liar.
How dare you come here?

I don't know what
you're talkin' about.

Oh, you don't?

Rich relatives? Ha.

Why you don't even know
who your own folks were.

Who told you that?

Your friend Hoss
Cartwright, that's who.

Well, I never said...

I-I had rich relatives.

I just said I'd have
money someday,

and I will.

Sure you will.


Have dinner with
me tonight, huh?

Let me explain.

How you gonna pay Big Red?


D-Don't you worry about that.

Just say you'll
have dinner with me.

Listen, Mr. McGee.

I work here, so I'll be here.

Other than that, just
remember what I said...

the men in my life
are spelled M-O-N-E-Y.

Sure... Sure, honey.

Hey, I'll see you tonight, huh?

Yeah, come in.

I hear your looking
for me, Whizzer.

Hey, Otis,

look, I'll get
right to the point.

You offered to lend
me some money.

Well, I'm broke. I
need some right away.

Sure, sure,

just as soon as you
do a little job for me.

Keep talkin'.

I need access to
your room tonight.

Just leave the alley
door unlocked, see.

Then go over to the Silver
Dollar, or anywhere you want,

and spend the evening.

You're planning on
robbing Mashburn?


No, I promise ya,
Mr. Mashburn's Emporium

won't be disturbed.

I think I oughta
know a little...

bit more about what's going on.

The less you know, the
less you got to talk about.

Just go over to
the Silver Dollar,

and no one will ever
know you've been involved.


Nah, I'm not so sure
I want any part of it.

I'm gonna pay you a pretty penny

just to leave a door unlocked
and keeping your mouth shut.

Now you want it or not?

Hey, wait a minute.

When do I get my money?

Come on over to the
Silver Dollar any time.

One thing...

keep your mouth shut, or
you'll be a dead little squirt,

instead of a live one.

We pull the job
tonight, Saturday.

That gives us all day
Sunday for the wagon

to head for Sacramento.

By the time they
open the bank Monday,

they'll never trace it.

And then we join the posse
to make sure they don't.

What if McGee gets wise

we're using his room to
get through to the bank?

The only thing McGee
is interested in is Melissa.

And I've seen to it
that he's got the money

and opportunity to...
pursue his hobby.

- What a sucker.
- Yeah.

Yeah, he's a five-foot man

with six-foot ideas.



Another brandy, my dear?

No thanks. I have
work tonight, remember?

Someday, someday soon,

you won't have to
work anymore at all.

You'll have other
people working for ya.

Now let's not start that
inheritance business again...

But I'm telling you the truth.

I will have money someday.

Look, I gotta deliver a stove

to the Ponderosa tomorrow.

Why don't you
drive along with me?

The fresh air will do you good.

Fresh air makes me sneeze.

I might have a surprise for you.

What kind of a surprise?

Why don't you come
along and find out.

Well... Hey, Whizzer.

I've been lookin'
all over for you.

Kinda living high
on the hog, ain't ya?


I must get ready for my number.

What about what we
were talking about?

Well, if you're not too early.

What's that all about, Whizzer?

Whatever's between
me and my lady friend

is none of your business,

and I wish you would
kindly remember that.

Your lady friend?

That's what I said.

Pretty expensive
looking vittles.

You keep eatin' like this,

and that commission
from that stove

ain't gonna last you
two nights, little buddy.


Don't, don't you...
little buddy me.

Ya double-crossin'...

Hey, what's got into you?

What's got into me? You!

Ya going behind
my back to Melissa.

You're trying to break us up.

Aw, sit down, Whizzer.

Melissa don't care
nothing about you.

She don't care nothing about
nobody unless they got money.

Meaning I'll never
have any, huh?

I didn't say that.
Five, ten years...

Five, ten years!

Wait a minute. Where you goin'?

None of your business.

J-Just because you
done me a favor once,

well, that doesn't mean
you can run my life.

Hey, Otis.

What are you doing here?

I just saw Mr. Mashburn
at the Silver Dollar.

He's on his way over here.

Yeah, well, get in my
room till I get rid of him.

Howdy, Mr. Mashburn!

McGEE: Ah, McGee.

Now what are you
doing here, huh?

Uh, I just come over to...

check out that
inventory... Mr. Mashburn.

Ah, that's right smart of you,

young feller.

Yes, sir, but it's
all taken care of

now, Mr. Mashburn.

Why, why don't you go home
and get a good night's sleep?

Yeah, well,

I might just do
that, young feller.

Good night, McGee.

Yes, well, good
night, Mr. Mashburn.

I said, good night.

Good night, McGee.

He's gone. You can come out.

Yeah. Thanks.

Okay, let's get this
crate out of here.


Hey, Whizzer, I was just
coming out to help you load that.

It's already loaded.

I figure, I'm gonna be a big
merchant in five or ten years,

I got to give the customers
some service, you know.

You ain't still mad?

Nah. Nah, I feel
fine this morning.

Hey, I'll tie my horse on
behind and ride out with you.

Well, not yet.

Melissa's gonna ride along.

- Melissa?
- Well, sure.

Fresh air'll do her good.

Here, Whizzer, I'll drive.

Keep. Giddyup.


What are you doing here?

You're supposed
to be with the wagon.

I got news for you.

The wagon tipped
over in a creek bed.

One of the crates popped open.

All that was in it
was nuts and bolts.

Nuts and bolts?

Somebody pulled a switch.

Mm-hmm. Guess who.

Yeah, and we fell for it
when that little runt told us

that old man Mashburn was
coming to check the inventory.

That's when he made the
switch, the dirty little rat.

Come on. I bet I know
what happened to our money.

Hey, Pa, Adam, Joe.

Come on out and
look at the new stove.

Hey, Pa?

Hop Sing only one here.

They all come
back after sundown.

You got new stove!

Yeah. Ain't it pretty?

Hey, Hop Sing you got
anything to eat in there?

Catch 'em plenty
good pigs' feet cooking.

- Good.
- Oh, please.

Um, yeah, Hop Sing, that...

We ought to be
able to beat that.

That-That ain't quite
fitting and proper for a lady.


Uh, go in there and see if you
can't round up something else.

Stay with me, Melissa.

I'll go water the horses, Hoss.

All right.

Meantime, me and Hop Sing
will scramble up something to eat.




Whizzer, why are you
locking us up in here?

Now, remember, I
outweigh you by 20 pounds.

- Shh.
- Cut it out!

Now, now, close your eyes.

- Close my...?
- Yeah, close 'em.


Where'd you get all this?

You rob a bank?

No, but didn't I tell you
I'd have money, Melissa?

Didn't I?

Why, this... this'll
buy us San Francisco.

New York and Europe.

We'll-we'll stay at the
grandest hotels, and

I'll-I'll buy you
clothes, diamonds.

Oh, stop, you...

you've gone too
far, too... too fast.

Why, sure.

Sure, honey.

But... you'll be going
as Mrs. Whizzer McGee.

Well, you know that, don't you?

How much did you say you've got?

The whole stove's full of money!

But there's one thing, though.

Oh. Sure. Sure, there always is.

No. I want us to leave from
here, not go back to town.

And leave all my things?

I'll get you better things.

Ten times better!

I'll-I'll unload the money.

You-you go in and
entertain Hoss, huh?

Hey, what are you
two doing out here?

I thought you was
gonna take the...

Where'd you get that, Whizzer?

He inherited it.

While I'm worried about
you cheating at cards...

you were out
robbing a bank, right?

No. No, I did no
such of a thing.

Where'd you get it?

I found it.

Yeah, I-I found it, Hoss.

And finders are keepers, you
know that finders are keepers.

You found it at a bank...

That's exactly where you're
gonna take it right back to.


No, Hoss!

This... this is my big chance.

My big chance.

A-All my life it's
been small stakes.


Little man.

But money, Hoss...
M-Money'll make me big.


there ain't nothin' gonna
make you big except yourself...

You yourself.

Now, if you go
through with this,

you'll be running and
hiding the rest of your life.

That's all I've ever done!

Whizzer, now you got a
chance to change all that.

Back at Mashburn's.


Oh, why don't you
get out of his way,

you... you outsized oaf!

Where's that runt, McGee?

What do you want with him?

He's got something
that belongs to me.

Dang little fool!

What'd you do that for?

It's my money, and
they ain't takin' it!

McGee! Listen to me!

You give us back the money,
and we'll let you have a split!

So... it's Clink's money!

Why, you little weasel!

No! It was never his.

Please, Melissa, stay with me.

And get shot? Oh-ho,
no, thanks, shorty.

- This is the end of the line.
- No, please!

You know your trouble, McGee?

You're an itty-bitty frog
trying to swim the ocean.

A little man in
a big, big world.

Now that I think about it, I
wouldn't have gone away with you

for all the money
in the world! Clink!

Hold on! It's Melissa!
I'm coming out!

I... I know it was
just the money.

I could get three...
four of her...


Whizzer, come on.

We can't hold 'em
off with one gun.

Let's go through this
back door to the house

and get a rifle.

Hold it, Cartwright.

Just take it easy
and nobody'll get hurt.

Otis... Whizzer ain't
takin' that money.

It's going back to the bank.

It's going with me!

I don't care if I have
to kill the both of you.


I reckon that's what
you're gonna have to do.

Stop! Drop your gun!

This gun shoot very wide.

Whizzer... why'd you want to go

and do a dang fool
thing like that for?


'Cause... you're
the only friend...

I ever had, Hoss.

Oh, Whizzer.

You could've
had lots of friends.


Melissa was right.

I'd always be
a... a little man...

in a... big world.


He's dead.

The little man?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah... little man.

You got any other names
you'd like to call him?

Like runt?


Shorty? Half-pint?

You got any other names?

That's what he was, wasn't he?

A little man?


A little man, to you
and the rest, but...

not to me.


Behind the Scenes of The Saga of Whizzer McGee

The playing cards Whizzer employs to determine who pays for drinks with the bar owner feature contemporary designs, which would have been unattainable during the late 1800s.

Looking for More Bonanza Episodes?

Bonanza is a delightful and family-friendly series perfect for watching alone or with loved ones. The Saga of Whizzer McGee” marks the 130th episode among 430. From September 1959 to January 1973, NBC aired Bonanza, spanning 14 seasons on the network’s airwaves.

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